Guest Blog Post by Ashleigh Moon
I was nine weeks into my fourth pregnancy. I had a miscarriage at four weeks almost four months prior to this one. I was scared and worried that it was happening again and all the signs were there. I had my blood drawn a couple times to check my numbers; they were increasing so it wasn’t a miscarriage. They weren’t sure what was wrong, so I had to be monitored closely.
At 16 weeks I was sent to a high risk ob/gyn and a genetic specialist. My bloodwork was abnormal and all the early problems were still present. The bloodwork showed that the baby was at high risk for several genetic problems. A 3D ultrasound was performed along with several other tests. We saw and heard his little heartbeat, we saw his face, feet, and tiny hands. We walked into a little room to hear all the results. In that room our little baby was described as tissue, a blob of cells, a formless mass of clay. We were told he would more than likely be incompatible with life. The chance of him living after birth was less than 5%. If he survived he was at severe risk for Spina Bifida, Trisomy 14 & 18, and mental retardation. I was losing amniotic fluid daily so on top of the genetic possibilities, he would have life threatening health issues. They said he was already starting to decline that his head was beginning to flatten due to the lack of fluid.
They gave us NO HOPE. Their advice was to abort. They said I was young and could have another baby someday. Something just went wrong with this pregnancy and the best thing I could do as a mother was end his suffering now. Everything they said made me sick to my stomach!
My blob of tissue had a face, hands, and feet. His heart was beating and as long as his heart was beating, I was not going to be the one to stop it.
We declined the abortion and we were told to come back in two weeks. So at 18 weeks on Christmas Eve, we were told that fetal demise would take place and that it was only a matter of time. The doctor said whether we ended the pregnancy or it ended on its own that death was inevitable.
We told the doctor we would take our chances, that we would take our less than 5% and trust God for the other 95%. I knew in my heart that terminating this pregnancy was taking my baby’s life into my own hands and I could never live with that. I determined that as long his heart was beating I was fighting for him. There were so many unknowns. We had no idea what we would get minutes, days, years, or the genetic possibilities. I did all I could to protect my unborn baby. I drank jugs of water a day to replenish amniotic fluid and I went to my local doctor a couple days a week to be monitored. I went into the hospital a couple days a week to receive fluids through IV.
At 26 weeks, I went into labor. The doctor hesitated to do heart tones, expecting the worse. I insisted she do them immediately because the baby was moving and had been all day. I knew he was alive sure enough his little heart was beating strong. It all seems like a dream now but in minutes a death plan became a life plan. We were rushed to a bigger hospital over an hour away with a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit(NICU). He was born ten minutes after we arrived. He was premature, his lungs were underdeveloped, he was tiny, he was sick but he was genetically perfect. He was very sick due to his lack of amniotic fluid and his lungs were in bad shape. He spent 96 days in the NICU and it was like a roller coaster ride. He had horrible days where we thought we were going to lose him and then he would turn the corner. He was fighter and he overcame all the obstacles.
He is now 11 years old and perfect! He has absolutely nothing wrong with him. Our little “blob of tissue” is the center of our family and living miracle. He is our daily reminder that no man knows what God does. I think God every day that we chose life! Caleb is an amazing little guy that to a genetic specialist was replaceable. He is a drummer at our church, learning guitar, a friend, a brother, my son, a daddy’s boy, a sweetheart, and his story is impacting hundreds of people. Life is the only choice! I often think of all the Caleb’s the world is missing out on. Our little Caleb is a miracle and we think God for His blessing every day! God Bless!!!
